Crocodile walk

Just two weeks until we leave for camp!! With Christmas being right around the corner I know the time is going to fly by! The donations have not stopped and we are left feeling SO loved and supported. Please know that even though we have raised enough money for camp, the remainder is going towards great thing for Ryder. His new walker being one and his leg braces are next on our list. Thank you all so so much!!!

We received an early Christmas present on Friday morning.....Ryder's walker FINALLY came!! Honestly at the rate it was moving I really didn't think it would get here before we left. It sat at customs for over two weeks and in total we waited a full month for it to arrive. Next time we need something we will have it shipped to the states and just go pick it up ourselves. Lesson learnt. None the less, it is here now and Ryder is one happy little boy using it!

We have been having a hard time walking outside as it's getting colder, so tonight we thought we'd take the drive out the Qplex to try out the walking track. It was awesome. It would have been better if there wasnt a hockey game going on, as Ryder was VERY distracted but he had a lot of fun and really that is all the matters. The track is 1km when walked around five times. Ryder managed to walk around two full times, which i think is absolutely amazing! For sure the furthest he's walked to date. 

Here the boys are getting distracted again... haha 

And here is the boy in action!! :)

I just wanted to also talk a bit about the walker for anyone who may come across this and is interested in buying one. This is the fourth walker he has tried and to me the best. It is called the Crocodile Gait Trainer made by Snug Seat. So far I am in love with this walker and really think it is one of the best out there for transitioning from a full on gait trainer to rear walker. The walker comes just as a basic rear walker and you can add as much supports as needed, this being the reason I think it is classified as a "gait trainer" on most sites. The wheels are awesome! They come standard with the walker and have speed control, anti reverse back wheels (unlike a lot of other walkers when put in anti reverse they don't slip or slide back at all!) and you can have the front wheels either swivel or lock straight. The wheels are also on the larger side making it easier to go on uneven ground and even grass :) We purchased the pelvic pad and lateral supports to help keep Ryder centered, an attendant bar to help steer him while he's learning and a fold down seat for when he get's a bit older and can pull it down when he may need to have a rest. Very happy with this purchase :)

home ♥

We have officially raised enough money!! Our grand total is $13,280!!! We are just so grateful to everyone who has helped us get to this point. We now have enough money for camp, HBOT, our travel and food expenses while we are there!!! I am so blown away with everyone's generosity. THANK YOU!!

Ryder and I are home from our three and a half week long trip and we seem to be having a very hard time adjusting back to "life". It's always hardest coming back and losing those four hours even if technically it's only three, as we spent the last week in Alberta.(it's still hard!!) We had a really good trip and it was so nice to be able to spend so much time with family and friends. I got to meet and snuggle my brand new nephew and we are honored that the payed tribute to Wyatt with his middle name. As fun as it was, it's always good to get back home. Ryder missed his daddy so much and now whenever Ty tries to leave the room he cries out for him. A little sad that we are only here for another month before we take off again for five weeks to go to camp.  I am however getting really excited about the possibilities camp may bring. I can't wait to get there and get started then of course get home to Daddy :)

Ryder made such huge progress while we were away. It amazes me how much that walker helped his legs. After a few days of using it his tight muscles had relaxed so much. When I would stretch his legs he would giggle instead of scream and his feet were as flat as can be. Since not using it for a week and a bit his legs have started to seize up again and it's really hard for him to go flat foot. The worst is trying to do his stretches, we are back to the screaming in pain again :(  We have ordered him a walker of his own and I am really hoping it gets here sometime this week. I guess the saying " if you don't use it, you lose it" is very relevant to Ryder's little legs.

Ryder turned two while we were on our last flight home. We really pushed the "infants up to two years old travel free" rule to the limit. We spent his Birthday searching for the perfect big boy bed but failed to find anything low enough for him. For now we just have his new mattress on the floor and he couldn't be happier :) I can't believe he's already two!!! It's so hard not to envision our life the way it should be with Wyatt here, especially on days so special. We sent our Birthday balloons up to heaven for our sweet angel. As soon as they were out of sight, I knew he had got them . It was heart wrenching and perfectly beautiful at the same time.

We love and miss you so much sweet boy. Happy 2nd Birthday Wyatt & Ryder! xoxoxo

Taking walking to the next level!!

Ryder just keeps doing it. Seems almost everyday he's blowing me away with another trick he has hidden up his sleeve.

We weren't able to bring his walker on our trip because it's so big and doesn't fold down at all. Even if we were able to check it with the baggage, it would have taken up to much room with all our luggage in the car. Anyhow, Ryder's Aunty Karla was told about a lending cupboard on the coast for pediatric equipment. She made some calls and received a walker for Ryder to try out during our stay. It's nothing like his walker at home, it doesn't have any supports to hold him in place. Just a basic walker, very similar to one we tried out just two weeks ago with no luck what so ever. I don't know what changed between then and now but he is now doing AMAZING!!

Here he is after using it for just two days!!

We have been getting some awesome donations the past few days. I really can't thank you all enough. I will add everything up and give a grand total tonight. I know we are getting SO close, and it's all thanks to YOU!! :) xo

He's a climbing boy!

We have been so close, for so long but today he did it! After almost a full year of training, Ryder climbed the stairs all by himself!! He didn't just climb one or two, he went for it and did the whole flight! I AM SO PROUD!!!

 Look at him go!!

Right now Ryder and I are in BC visiting all my family & friends back home. We arrived Tuesday after a full day of travel. On our first plane ride we sat next to a mom and her 11 week old baby girl. Every time the baby would start to cry Ryder's little lip would pucker and he would cry too. Other than the last bit of screaming x2 it was a good flight and he slept the whole time. He did pretty good on the long flight too. He didn't sleep at all but he watched 6 hours of straight Thomas the train. You would think he would be sick of it after that but as always he's still asking for more. I now have a new appreciation and love for that "Cheeky little engine!" lol

Ryder has adjusted very well to the four hour time difference. He's sleeping in his own big boy bed, (aka mattress on the floor) and seems to be sleeping way better then he does in his crib at home. I end up in bed with him every night but mainly because I fall asleep cuddling him and am too lazy to go back to my own bed. He's also been using a pillow and I don't know why but I think it's the cutest thing ever!! haha!

This trip out, Ryder loves my parents dogs. He calls them Abba and Dog (Abbie and Ben) and chases them around the house. Iv never heard him belly laugh as much as he did the first night playing with them. We have only been here for three days but it already feels like it's going by way too fast. Lots of visiting and special people to see. We leave on the 19th to fly to Alberta to visit my brother, sister-in law, nephews and meet the newest addition to be! Can't wait!! So good to be home :)

From a vision to reality.

Well the last couple days have been quite the whirlwind. It started with a quick email to Ability camp asking when I should submit Ryder's video application for the camp...

Originally we were hoping to take Ryder to the January Mom and Tot camp but when we thought about all the factors, it didn't make sense for us. The main reason being Ontario has crazy winters and there's no way we would risk driving the 15 hours in a potential snow storm to get there. That would mean we would have the extra cost of flights and I would not have a car for the full 5 week stay. The camp is located almost 3 hours away from the major airport in Toronto and twenty minutes away from the closest grocery store. Not having a car and not knowing anyone who lives there makes for some difficult times. Another reason for wanting to wait is winters are pretty tough for me and the thought of being all alone in the middle of no where in an unfamiliar place didn't sound like the best plan.

Then we decided that if they would accept Ryder early, in the 3-6 year old session we could go in June when he would be two and a half and the weather would be nice so I could drive there. That was all fine until I was informed (in the email) no parents are allowed in the 3-6 year old class. The kids go in alone... For those of you that has not experienced Ryder's neediness to me, lets just say its bad. REAL BAD. I can't imagine spending all that money just to have him sit and scream for days on end. They said most kids usually all cry for the first 2 weeks but almost all get use to their parents not being there and do fine. In my opinion when your spending almost $10,000, two weeks is too much time and money to waste screaming till you puke everyday. I was also looking forward to being with him in the class learning along with him so I could continue his therapy at home. So now were back where we started which is January. THIS JANUARY! Like basically 2 months away January!! 68 days away January!! AHHhhhh!

So it started as a vision. A dream really and now, from all your help it's a reality. It feels like it was just yesterday when I stumbled on Ability Camps website. I sat there watching all the video testimonials with tears streaming down my face. I felt like I had finally found some answers, something that could really impact my beautiful sons life. I said to Tyler, I don't care what it takes, I am getting Ryder there. I didn't really know how it would happen but it didn't take long before you all made your support quite clear. YOU all made it happen for us! In four short months you raised $9214. I called today and made the deposit to save our spot. Thank you never seems to feel like enough.

Now with the extra costs of travel and possibly renting a car while I am there we are left a bit short. We need to somehow raise another $2000 to cover the extra expenses. I have no doubt in my mind that we can make this happen. But.... if you've been waiting for the perfect time to make a donation, now would be that time :)

I am nervous, scared, hopeful, excited but most of all thankful for this journey that we are about to take. I look back at my first post in the beginning of July and Ryder could not sit, kneel or crawl. All very important milestones that come so easy to most kids. We have worked with Ryder daily and now four months later and he is doing almost all of that plus more!! :)  I am so excited to see what he can get and learn from Ability Camp!

Feeding Frustration...

The last couple weeks have been a bit of a struggle. Ryder somehow hurt his Right leg/foot and wouldn't put any weight on his right side for a full week. He wouldn't use his walker or play standing. We had our appointment with the pediatric feeding team, which did not go so well. He has not been sleeping at ALL and caught a cold which luckily didn't last long but was still no fun while it lasted. Also it was Pregnancy and Infant loss awareness day on Oct.15th which always stirs up a lot of buried sadness and grief for me. It's so hard not to think of the "what ifs". What if TTTS never existed and I had two healthy striving little boys..... :(  I miss him so much and there's not a day goes by that I don't envision my life the way it should be.

"Wyatt we miss you every minute of every day but on days like this we miss you even more." 

International Pregnancy and Infant loss Awareness Day Oct.15,2011

Almost everything has settled but we are now dealing with the feeding frustration.

Ryder has never been a good eater, he struggles with texture and extreme flavors. We can't even give him baby Tylenol as he will instantly puke up everything in his belly. He will also gag and puke if something is lumpy or involves chewing and doesn't just dissolve in his mouth. He seems to do okay with crunchy things like rice cakes or crackers but we are very limited on nutritious food that he can eat. He will eat buttered toast, cheese cut in cubes and sometimes he will try cut up fruit. Everything else is crunchy or baby food consistency. We thought he was slowly getting better but he hit a wall then slowly started to get worse again. I was concerned as his little waist is so tiny and he only seems to be growing in length and not gaining any weight. Our O/T suggested she ask for a referral to be put in to the pediatric feeding team at the hospital to see if they could help. The team consists of a Feeding Therapist, Nutritionist, Psychologist and a Speech Pathologist. The night before our appointment Ryder was up all night, and I am not at all exaggerating when I say we all had max 2-3 hours sleep. Our appointment was first thing in the morning as they wanted to watch Ryder eat on an empty tummy. We sat in a room and fed Ryder many different foods while they watched from a one way mirror. After we sat and talked about ideas of new foods and what their concerns were. I am sure you can imagine having four different therapists telling you things can a bit overwhelming for a brain that didn't get any sleep. We left feeling defeated and even more limited on what Ryder can now eat. They no longer want him eating his toast or cut up cheese (which he loves and asks for at almost every meal). They are very concerned about the risk of him choking as it doesn't appear that he is chewing his food and he doesn't know that he needs to push it to the sides to chew after taking the initial bite.  They don't want him eating his baby food that he actually likes and they want me to make individual puree's of all different things and to not mix the flavors. From what I gather our goal is to slowly make the puree's thicker and lumpier until he can eventually just eat a piece of cooked carrot, potato or whatever it may be. I don't think they fully understand how difficult this task is going to be or maybe they do. It's way easier to say it and be on the other end not having to deal with the daily battle of meals. When Ryder first started trying solids I made everything that went into his mouth. I wanted to keep it that way but when you spend hours making baby food and only get a a turned up nose and big mess on the floor it obviously starts to feel like a big waste of time. Right now I am just trying to process everything then I will slowly start to implement their suggestions into Ryder's feeding routine. I personally don't feel like it's something that can just happen over night. On a good note, they were not at all worried about Ryder's weight or growth :)

I'll leave you with a video Ryder and I watch when we need a little inspiration :) 

Casts OFF!!

Again we are so blown away by everyone's generosity. Ryder is such a lucky little guy to have you all in his life. We now have a grand total of  $8824 in Ryder's account for Ability Camp!!! Big thanks, hugs and love to Ryder's Nanny Marg who made a very generous donation of over $1100!! And my parents back home who threw a huge garage sale where they made $1580!! Thank you to everyone who helped out and gave donations for the sale. Garage sales are a lot of work and we really appreciate all the time and organizing you guys did to pull off such a successful day.

Here's a smile from Ryder to show his thanks!!

Last week Ryder got his first Casts taken off and new ones put on. They were very happy with his extension from the first set and said the next set would be the last for this round of casting. He did good while getting them off but it was pretty scary for the little guy. He cried a cry I have never heard before, must have been the "I'm scared mom, please make it stop" cry :( Broke my heart. We bought him his own big boy headphones to listen to his Thomas movie but it didn't really work after the first one was cut off.

The second set of Cast were suppose to stay on till this Thursday, then because of some scheduling issues at the hospital they were going to need to stay on till the following Tuesday. I was pretty bummed because I feel like he hasn't had any real fun since he got them on. But Ryder was fine so I guess it would have to do. It was all good until this morning when Tyler noticed some sores starting to form under both casts on the soles of his feet. It looked pretty bad and our P/T agreed that they should come off to prevent any infection. Again he was not very happy about that darn saw but his mood switched fast once his little legs were finally free again!! They were so happy with the results even with having them taken off early. He can now get his feet flat on the floor! This is huge, as before he could only go up on his tip toes. We have already noticed he has so much more stability when standing now :) We are very happy and the casts were definitely worth it.

I really wish I had a video of him before the casts to really show how much of an improvement this is.

Ryder's P/T also made him night splints out of his casts to wear until he gets his made next week. They don't seem to bug him at all :) 

Sleepy boy has had a long day! Good-night :)